The Ultimate Fanny Post

Long overdue, but finally, here it is. From the meager beginnings to the star studded end....here we go!!

The tools. 

The finished sculpture...3 months of work time.

the ba-donk-a-donk

Look at them nips! Look how the base swirls into the heart shaped Exxxotica logo! 

(pats myself on the back)

Swirly Ass swirls....

First time mold making is not recommended at midnight, but even I, do not listen to my own advice.

I wish I did though cause it was really the most terrifying night of my life. 

I could say that I totally knew what I was doing and I soooo expected it to come out perfect and I DIDNT spend the morning hours obsessively tapping on the sides to get the bubbles out, then promptly sitting up in bed completely HORRIFIED because WHAT IF my tapping was actually CREATING more bubbles...

I could say that....

(WHEW!)

Yay! Success!! 

And then the casting began! I used hydrostone and loved the results.

First casted award. For some reason, I was going to use Cooking spray, but ended up using the expensive, super toxic,  mold release agent anyway.

Did I mention it was ergonomic? Cause Im pretty sure I did.....like a million times. 

sanded so silky smooth....

Using super small brushes and various made-up techniques to create the "marble" effect.

Clear coated then affixed with the award label. I had to mail Ron's overnight so he can film his acceptance speech since he couldnt make it to the awards show. Oh and then he promptly BROKE it...ON CAMERA.

And then that event spiraled into a series of other unfortunate events that started my nickname "Dirk Diggler, aka The Platinum Fanny."

its a long story....lets just say, they definately use your REAL name when your checking into the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City.

The certificates happened.

These huge banners happened.

And these beautiful people getting their First Annual Fan Choice Awards Happened. 

Tera Patrick and Lisa Ann.

I did this pose alot on the "Pink Carpet" 

The best photo of us...EVER...happened.

Me waiting till the DAY OF the awards show to find a dress, and then instead of wearing proper spanks or nothing at all, I ended up wearing these weird boy short things which created a gross series of mini rolls on my body which then hogged the flash of EVERY camera in a 10 mile radius...

yup...THAT happened. 

But getting and delivering one of the best lines while presenting the "Cockmaster of the Year" award to James Deen definately made up for it.

I would like to thank the person who invented the "crop" feature.

And yes, he got a new one and I got the money shot. 

The End.

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For more pics of the night click on the pic below and follow the official Exxxotica Fan Choice Awards Page.